OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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