And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
