I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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