Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
