I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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