He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
