drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize