it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
