I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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