Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
