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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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