i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
