did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
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Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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