omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
