I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
