Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just high enough for therapy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
