i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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