he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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