There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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