Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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