I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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