why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
