I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
