I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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