in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
soo... how was my night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
