I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
