I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
