Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
