well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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