That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
its not stalking. its research.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
