If i come over, it means nothing
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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