And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
