Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
