how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
