Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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