She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
