i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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