So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
