So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
