I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize