I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
