This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
