just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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