Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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