do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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