the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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