i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
