People in love make me want to vomit
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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