My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
two words: eviction party
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
