She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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