we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
