well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
