dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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