I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
don't judge my taste in strippers
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
