My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
