Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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